I am in the process of applying to the Djerassi Artist in Residency program and I must admit I am flailing. They ask for a project proposal while in residency and am having trouble articulating. If I were completely honest, I don't know exactly what I propose to do, but rather to explore and improvise while there. I'm sure this would not instill confidence in the panel, but I seriously have no idea what I would like to do. Instead I want to take a bunch of materials with me to manipulate, play, create, burn, tangle, wrestle, and caress. I'm sure there would be billowing blackness and deep-felt mourning. With great anxiety, I would sit in solitude with anatomy books and ponder my interior. Perhaps this would culminate in a painting or a small sculpture. Perhaps I would even be left with dread and thanatophobia. At the very least, I would hope to experience some quiet with birds, trees, and if lucky, a deer.
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